yet again

here i go again.
ever jaded. ever the cynic. ever the fool.
ever un-worthy.

there are a lot of things happening in my life right now.
and much more on my mind,
and in my heart.

so much that i feel i can not take any more.
so much that i feel i have lost track of my life, my self.
so much that i can not feel a thing.

so here i am.

perhaps by keeping tabs on my daily existence, or rather subsistence, once more
i will be able to find me.

but then again, have i ever even found my self?

i suppose a more practical goal would be
to be able to believe in people, in life, in love. again.