Wednesday, April 23, 2008
all i need is all i want
i always thought that i knew what i wanted.
though i don't always get what i want,
i can be really persistent
that i would come really close to getting it,
so close that i get to at least have a taste of it.
but why is it that every time i do, i only get disappointed?
what i thought would make me happy
would only make me unhappier in the end.
is it because my wants are too good for me?
must i really lower my standards for happiness?
last night, i went out with this really nice guy.
good-looking. comes from a good family. and extremely young.
well, except for the young part, he's the ideal guy for me.
or for anyone else for that matter.
then i realize i may not be his.
just like before.
well, here i go again. me and my issues.
sigh.
all i want is simple.
i just want to be happy.
just like everyone.
well, i guess that's it.
i just have to keep things simple.
even my wants.
maybe then i will finally get what i really want.
or, dare i say, what i really need.
but will it make me happy?
if what i thought what i want didn't
then this better should.
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4 comments:
aha. kindred spirit.
i actually said the same things somewhere in my own blog.
im not sure if you're open to people giving pieces of advice, which an opinionated and inspired (anonymous) person (ehem, me) is prepared to give anytime, but i'd like to share my learning:
defining your happiness by the details (boy, yummy, good background, good future) may not lead you to your real objective. i think when you say you are simple in your want, basically you're looking for the simple feeling of joy in your heart. the type that overwhelms you. the type that makes you smile because of the little things. and looking for details makes you meet people (or things) that meet your standards and not necessarily your objectives.
ex:
good background
happy = middle class family, top end school
joy = a poor family that worked its way up, a guy who put himself to school and is now at par with the up/dlsu/admu graduates at work
good future
happy = good "normal" top filipino or multinational company
joy = a bpo that gives the person flexible schedule and benefits
good looks
happy = tight chinese boy with the right bumps in the corners (probably with issues)
joy = tall, dark, bulky chinito gwapong pinoy (not out but ready to)
anyway, happy hunting my friend. =)
i appreciate unsolicited pieces of advice. especially if it comes from people who are as idealistic and hopeful as you seem to be. i used to be one, you see. maybe you can rub off some of that optimism on me :)
anyway, it's been two years since i made this post. and i'd like to think that i have been able to redefine and simplify my wants. i can do away with my checklist now. however, i still don't have what i want. and yes, i want that feeling of overwhelming joy in my heart too.
i believe i already found what i want. it's just that what i want wants something else ;)
thank you my new-found friend :)
what you want wants something else. kagagaling ko lang d'yan last year. haha.
optimism, optimism! here, rubbing it on you. optimism!
=p kidding.
yea, found out that the post was written two years ago. laaate comment. boohoo.
hey, don't lose the optimism! there's no reason to. =)
maybe i won't
if you keep rubbing it on me
hahahaha
kidding
thanks man!
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